Wrecking Crew meets Rampage - or the lifespan of an NES controller

Let me preface this entry by saying that these games were ridiculously difficult back in the day and have stood the test of time as equally if not more so now. Those of us who found our way through without the aid of game genies or cheat codes did not do so without our fair share of adversity. Like any war there were casualties and a fair amount of collateral damage. That being said I'm still not altogether proud of what this installment says about me and the level of patience I had for these games as a teenager. If you've ever seen any of James "the nerd" Rolfe's  (AVGN hereafter) videos (link below) you know that the creators of the games wanted to torture us as much as entertain us.

http://cinemassacre.com/category/avgn/


It would be easy to blame my actions on raging hormones or one too many sodas, but truth be told I was in control and very aware of what I was doing. If I found that in some way the game had cheated me I would see red.  My controller would be launched from my clutches headlong into the wall of my playroom.  To paraphrase AVGN (and the numerous examples he gives in his review videos)


If you fell into the water  ->  you died
If you stepped on the wrong thing -> you died
If that thing that looked entirely benign hit you -> you died
If you didn't keep up with the scrolling of the screen -> you died
If any of the 15 enemies on the screen touched you -> you died
If you didn't pick up all of the impossible to reach items -> you died.

The games were set up with sometimes clumsy controls that would require you to perform multiple actions for a simple character reaction, like pull back when jumping or pressing both buttons simultaneously for this or that. In addition the designers thought it was hilarious to create some levels on some games that either lacked a checkpoint or had the checkpoint beyond a part that was so difficult to get through that the checkpoint was a moot one.

Now I'm not trying to justify my actions, but rather illustrate that myself, AVGN, and scores of others were fighting against impossible odds to complete these games.  I would liken success on some titles about equal to finding a piece of dental floss on a snow-covered football field.

One such game that I developed a love-hate relationship with was Megaman and I'm quite certain  this game alone was responsible for the loss of at least 2 nintendo controllers.  Now I know what you're thinking.  what a spoiled brat!  He lost his precious game, took it out on his controller and mommy and daddy bought him another and another.  Simply, not the case.  At first I had to get really creative and glue the two pieces of the controller together.  Eventually my luck would run out and when they actually stopped working I had to forgo my 2  player games with friends until I could afford to replace my broken joystick.

Bear in mind this was like 87 or 88 and even though flea markets and garage sales were a thing, finding nes controllers at them was most certainly NOT.  By this time the Nes Advantage and max controllers were out and so I had some form of deterrence from skipping them off the floor. As these ones were much more expensive then their predecessors.

I'll never forget the time that I was playing a particularly difficult game and had gotten quite far when I reached a part I could not surpass.  My fruitless efforts were not rewarded for what seemed like hours and just like Bill Murray in Groundhog day I was forced to repeat the same part over and over and over again.  When I had had enough I catapulted my controller and it hit the  machine.  Adding insult to injury it bumped the cartridge enough to knock it loose a little from the pin connector and I was serenaded by what sounded like a set of broken bagpipes. I had lost all of the progress that the 3 previous hours had meant.  The TV screen looked like a tangled lightbright picture.  From that day on I channeled my frustrations in a much different manner. Game controllers everywhere breathed a sigh of relief and did not resort to the fetal position when I drew near to them. Even though
I do not condone the misuse of nintendo controllers (despite the fact that they are lightweight and ergonomically correct for the hurling, but if you find yourself with a controller in need of repair, here is a helpful resource:

http://www.instructables.com/id/HOW-TO-REPAIR-A-BROKEN-NES-CONTROLLER/


Okay if you're reading this I want you to fess up.  Was I just a snot-nosed punk with anger issues or did these near impossible games get the best of you from time to time too?  My body count was probably 3 controllers and more than one drywall touchup. Let me know your score.